This year, next year

23rd March marked the grim anniversary of a year in lockdown: albeit with a bit of light relief when the restrictions were relaxed over the summer. It has not been an easy year, probably, for anyone. It felt important to spend a little bit of time in our session that week looking back and looking forward. We managed to identify some positives, but overall the sense was definitely that the end of this particular period can't come soon enough! 

The very first poem we ever wrote together as a group used colour as a tool for reflection. So does this one as we looked back at the past year and ahead to our hopes for the one to come.

We were having website issues at the time (since, hopefully, resolved) so this is being posted a little later than planned. But that means it is being posted in the week in which we will, finally, be coming back together. Social distancing and facemasks not withstanding, we are very much looking forward to sharing the same physical space once more. Maybe, just maybe the end of a drab grey year is in sight and there are brighter colours on the horizon at last.

*      *      *

This year has been grey
All I see
Looking out from my attic window
Always the same view
A desk, a computer, an empty grey sky

It has been
Kind of gloomy
Filled with mixed feelings and happenings

This year has been dark grey
The colour of clouds
Announcing that the rain is going to start
But also
Announcing the promise of rainbows after the rain
This difficult year
Will bring something new

The colour of clouds
Where everything seems unclear
All that we wanted was in storage
The clouds were heavy
But they did not rain
Did not let go
All that we wanted stays hidden inside

This year was black
We were in darkness
We didn’t know where we were going
Enclosed in a box
Nobody knows what comes next

Suddenly everything was different
Don’t go here, don’t go there
All this year, for me, was dark

This year
Everyone was afraid
I don’t want to say black,
But instead, mottled grey

This year has also been orange
Like the sky above a zombie apocalypse
So much destruction and death
But also
People reaching out
To help each other

Impossible to say this year has been one colour
It is all the colours in the same painting
Mixed in chaos and uncertainty
We see darkness and grey but also flashes of yellow
This colour, created
Is indescribable

And this year has also been light blue
The colour of heaven
A pandemic bringing me closer to God
With all that we have faced
Heaven has not changed
The sky is still blue

And next year?

Next year is white
Because it is still empty
We don’t know, yet, what we will write on it
Still thinking
What is the plan for the future
You have to draw it, paint it, create it

Next year I hope will be green
A place that doesn’t feel like the city
Where you can step outside the door and walk in the woods

Next year will be green and yellow
A year of changes, of hope and of new life
Green with fresh air and new life
Yellow with the happiness of the sun rising

And we are waiting for it to happen
This bright time
With everything clear and shining

Next year will be bright white
Because I’m sure everyone will be free
Now we are locked,
Inside our houses,
Inside our minds
But white is the colour of hope, peace and deliverance

Next year will be blue
I hope it is going to be beautiful
All the struggles over
I still give thanks for the gift of life
But this year
Has not been easy
We look forward
To peace, happiness and rejoicing

Next year will be blue
The ending of all this time
Will bring more hope
When the sky is blue
It allows me to dream

Sky blue
The colour that makes me feel calm, peaceful, relaxed
The colour of the inner peace I’m looking for
The colour of the inner peace I will find

Next year will still be light blue
Despite all that we went through
Heaven has not, will not change
The sky is still blue.