Winter

Winter

This poem was written in response to an invitation by Burton library friends. It was written by men, women and children from multiple continents across four continents. It grew out of many heartfelt conversations about good memories and more difficult ones. It represents some of our myriad experiences both back home and here in the UK

Back home, winter is something we only see in movies
It is not our season, it is Europe’s season
Back home, our winter happens when you think it is summer

Back home, winter is raining, raining, raining
And hiding under an umbrella
Back home, winter is cold, but not cold like here
That time when you might pull on a jumper, in the evenings at least.
It is sweeping up yellow leaves from the back yard.

Back home, winter is the sound of waves and the reflection of the grey sky in the sea
And the smell of the rain falling on the ground, mixed with the smells from my mother’s kitchen.

Back home, winter is a paradise of thick snow, layered on mountains
Beneath a deep, blue sky scattered with millions of stars
And the laughter as we ice skate on frozen rivers
Back home, winter is gathering round a fire every evening,
And the smell of wood smoke.

Back home, this time you call winter is a moment for celebrations,
for bringing together our families and communities
It is cooking different dishes.

It is our national day, wrapped up in the colours of the flag

It is Shabeh Yalda*
Everyone gathered round a table loaded with pomegranate, fruits and nuts
And conversations late into the night

It is Christmas
The sounds and lights and sparkles of a whole night of fireworks
And trips to the beach
It is making the children happy to celebrate the birth of the Christ Child
The giving and receiving of gifts
The sounds of music and dancing and laughter and friendship

It is the new year with its parties and promises of a new start

And it is food
So much good food

Back home, winter is my best friend

But I, we, left it all behind
And now, we are here

My first winter in the UK
Was cold, so cold
And dark, always dark
It was short days and long nights
The merciless cold and rain
Icy wind battering my body
It was feeling frozen with cold,
And frozen with fear

My first winter here was stepping out of the airport into a blast of icy air
Being greeted by a taxi driver laughing at my clothing, while I shivered because it was all I had

It was sitting on the heater waiting for the backs of my legs to burn

My first winter was feeling all alone in a new strange place,
Missing my family, and trying to make new friends,
It was wondering whether I could survive.

My first winter was sleeping in the bus station because I had nowhere to go
It was a long, long night outside a police station
It was a lonely hotel room
It was never having enough warm clothes

It was filled with pain

My first winter was the excitement of my first snow
It was going to bed when the world was green and waking up to it all being white,
Wondering what magic is this?
It was going out into the snow even though I did not have the right shoes.

My first winter here was looking around without recognising where I was
It was feeling like I had landed on another planet,
It was trying to get used to living in an icy world.

It was filled with uncertainty
And all new for me

But then again, someone also said,
My first winter here was not a surprise to me.

And now?
Now winter is something I’m getting used to
Or it is something I know I’ll never get used to
It is the wondering how long is this going to go on
It is the weather you know you can’t trust

Winter is still just as hard for me,
It has become harsher as years have gone by
But for some of us
Winter is not as bad as when we first arrived

Now winter is staying indoors, looking out, keeping warm
Curling up in bed
Sleeping early
It is the peaceful, quiet time after our babies fall asleep

Winter is worrying about paying the bills
It is the boredom of not enough to do,
It is made easier by having a community around me.

It is darkness and emptiness
With fog in the air and slippery ground beneath my feet
It is feeling like the day is already over in the middle of the afternoon

But now winter is also the joy of Christmas celebrations
The feeling of expectation and excitement
The sharing of gifts
It is Christmas lights and Christmas markets
It is the smell of incense
It is beautiful and bright
It is being part of a tradition where everyone is included

Winter is still melancholy but it is edged with faith and hope for the future
It is keeping going and staying motivated
Now, winter is feeling like I belong here
It is sharing food with my community

Winter is short days and long nights
It is still cold and still dark but,
Shared with friends,
It is better than it was.

Now winter is a time I am learning to love
Maybe winter will be my best friend again some day.